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Pete Pheasant

How A Mozzie Burnt My Bum And more comic shorts from....

How A Mozzie Burnt My Bum And more comic shorts from....

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ISBN 9781780916354

eISBN 9781781563526 - available on Amazon Kindle

Published June 2022

Ever feel you’re losing the plot? Find yourself raging over sausages or parking spots?
Perhaps you’re showing signs of chin food or skirt-in-knickers? 

Veteran newspaper columnist Pete Pheasant turns his acerbic wit on everyday life in this series of three-minute tales from a grumpy old man with terminal scattiness.

Plastic packaging, DIY, the language police, household clutter, tattooed wrinklies, dad-dancing… you name it, it’s blown his fuse. The simplest tasks end in chaos. Moths, hats and shorts make him sweat. And he’s sliding into old age with visions of a world run
by machines, with bar staff replaced by holograms and beer served through a microchip in the hand.

Good job he can laugh – especially at himself.

Rare moments of calm bring childhood memories, the challenges of raising children and the unadulterated joy of being a grandad. 

But expect the bizarre, too, with talking wasps, randy ducks, Santas in crisis and politicians trying to ‘breed out ugly people’. 

The author has written a regular column for the Derby Telegraph and Nottingham Post newspapers for 20 years. This book brings together a small selection.


Hear the author being interviewed about the book on Notts TV. Go to 39 minutes into the recording.

About the Author

Pete Pheasant was born in Chilwell, Nottinghamshire, but has lived across the county boundary in Ilkeston, Derbyshire, for more than 50 years.

He left school with dreams of being a poet and worked as a door-to-door encyclopaedia salesman while waiting in vain for fame and fortune to arrive.

Urged by his former English teacher to hone his writing skills on a local newspaper, he landed a job as a trainee reporter on the weekly Ilkeston Advertiser and quickly immersed himself in the life of the town.

After 21 years – seven as editor – he yearned to spend more time with his young sons and left his beloved ’Tiser to become a sub-editor on the daily Derby Telegraph. He rose to become the Telegraph’s assistant editor before joining its sister title the Nottingham Post, from where he retired as the night editor.

His passions include words, following his sons’ sporting pursuits, swimming, talking nonsense with friends over a few beers, playing with his grandsons and driving his long-suffering wife up the wall


Media - Reviews and Comments

Derby Telegraph - Picture 2

Nottingham Post OnlineWell-loved columnist Pete Pheasant set to publish his debut book - Nottinghamshire Live (

Columnist Pete Pheasant has been writing about everyday life for decades. But now he’s put some of his favourite funny articles into a book called How A Mozzie Burnt My Bum.

Mr Pheasant said: “It’s been a huge privilege to have my own newspaper column for so long and, as well as commenting on serious issues, I’ve really enjoyed serving up my odd brand of humour from time to time. Readers have often said I should put some of these light-hearted pieces in a book, so here it is.

“I think it’s the sort of think you might take on holiday with you, to dip into for a few minutes and then put aside.” He added: “I poke fun at all sorts of people and situations but mostly myself.”

The book has been dedicated to Mr Pheasant's former English teacher, Alan Harries, who inspired him to pursue a career in writing. He said: “He used to nag me to ‘write what you know about’, which is how I learnt to spin 500-word pieces out of situations like finding my lost specs in the bread bin or being unable to buy a Twix from a vending machine because there’s a Bounty in front of it.”

Ilkeston Life (June 2022)

Hold the Front Page - 26 May 2022

Review from Amazon

Excellent read, a lovely collection of 'tales ' from his everyday life which everyone can identify with. Don't need to read it in one session just dip in and out of the pages and enjoy a really good read. Certainly recommend.

#derbytelegraph #det #nottinghampost #NEP #funny #comedy

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